Eyeing Redemption
by RueEmerson
Summary: Philip aka The Governor discovers a new outlook on life after he stumbles upon a hunting cabin and the woman living there. Don't own TWD or its characters; I only claim the AU plot (takes place in S4) and original characters introduced here. More inside ...
1. First Encounter

**_A/N: Wow. Know I've not scripted anything in a while or updated current Caryl fics. No idea where this came from … _**

**_I don't much care for Philip and yet I felt like he could be redeemed with Jessilynn's help. Takes place in TWD:S4 after he was abandoned by his men and begins wandering aimlessly. AU from there. No meeting Lilly Chambler or leading the River Camp on a second strike of the prison, therefore no Hershel death!_**

"You better let me look at that wound," Jessilynn Parker said, staring at the tall dark-haired stranger who hovered nearby, favoring his right leg. She shouldered her rifle and motioned to him to follow her.

Philip Blake one-eyed the white blonde from under the mane covering his face like a wild animal but sensed she meant him no harm. She waved him to the porch steps of her rickety shack and he obediently sat as she disappeared inside.

Jessilynn wondered how long the man had been out in the woods as she gathered gauze and alcohol before returning to him. She also wondered how long he'd been wearing a patch over his eye. She hiked up his pant leg and he hissed as she brushed her fingers over the bloody gash on his calf that was starting to fester.

"Lordy!" she exclaimed. "Good thing I spotted you. You'd be one of those things before long."

He made no other sound as she doctored him, flushing out the infection as best she could, and wrapped the wound in gauze.

"Got a name?" she asked, peering at him as she finished tying it off and pulling the pant leg down. His one flinty blue eye met her pale icy blue ones. "I think I at least deserve that for patching you up."

"Philip," he hoarsely uttered with a voice he hadn't used in months.

"Well, Philip, I'm Jessilynn," she said, standing. She glanced out into the fading sunlight.

"You're welcome to share some stew with me and then bunk on my couch tonight before you go on your way in the morning," she offered with a hard smile. "If you try anything, I will kill you without hesitation."

* * *

><p>A week later, a clean-shaven Philip was wrestling with bailing wire Jessilynn had scavenged, wrapping it around a tree before stringing it around another tree to create an extra barrier to the house.<p>

He heard rustling behind him and whipped out his gun, releasing his grip on the wire and spinning around.

"Easy, there, it's just me," Jessilynn said, a couple of animals dangling by the tail from one hand and her other hand gripping her rifle strap.

Philip gave her a tight smile and holstered his gun before resuming his work. She had told him he could stay if he pulled his weight. He had nowhere else to go so he had settled in doing chores around the place while she hunted and cooked.

He quickly learned Jessilynn was one tough woman and he admired her willingness to stand up to him. She didn't let his gruffness deter her from trying to draw him out of the funk he was in.

She had a quiet faith that kept her going after her father and brothers had sent her to the hunting cabin for safety. After months passed, she realized they were probably dead so she hunkered down and fended for herself.

* * *

><p>After they had been living together for a month, Philip felt compelled to confess all of his sins to her, but she stopped him before he could spill the ugly truth about Woodbury and his vicious greed for the prison.<p>

"The past is the past, Philip. I'm not the one you need forgiveness from. That's between you and God," Jessilynn said, effectively ending the conversation.

She found him later that day sitting on the porch steps with his head in his hands.

"How far is too far gone?" he asked as she settled next to him, her shoulder against his.

"With God, there's no such thing as too far gone," she replied. "It doesn't matter how far you've wandered from Him. It doesn't matter what you've done. If you seek Him and are willing to lay it at His feet, He will forgive you. Others may not be so willing if you've wronged them, but He can give you a peace that passes all understanding."

Philip lifted his head and glanced at her.

"You don't know what I've done, who I was," he said. "Even if He could forgive me, I don't think I can forgive myself."

Jessilynn gave him a soft smile.

"I don't think you're the same person you were then," she said. "God accepts broken people where they are at … Let Him in and He can help you forgive yourself."

She patted him on the knee and left him alone with his thoughts.

As darkness fell, Philip and God had a meeting.


	2. Turning the Page

**_A/N: This chapter was inspired by "You And Me" by You+Me (Pink and Dallas Green) and Sleeping At Last's "Turning Page."_**

Jessilynn saw the subtle changes in Philip as the weeks wore on. He still had an occasional nightmare and there were things he grappled with in his own mind, but he seemed more at ease.

They continued to eat and operate alongside each other in a comfortable companionship, growing closer as the days passed.

"I can't remember the last time I had this much fun," Jessilynn joked as they sifted through supplies at an old hardware store miles from home. She was rifling through the clothes and held up a pair of overalls for him to see.

Philip raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"What do you say? I could pull this off, don't you think?" she said, pressing them to her front as if to model them.

"Sure," he agreed, trying to stay on neutral ground. If he had really said what he was thinking — that she could pose in anything and he'd still want her even with nothing on — she might not take kindly to it.

Jessilynn lowered the overalls and stared at him.

"Something on your mind?" she asked.

"Nope," Philip flippantly replied, flashing one of his brilliant smiles she had come to adore.

"Really?" she questioned, moving closer to him. "Are you certain?"

She was beginning the feel things for him that she shouldn't, and every once a while, she wondered if he wasn't fighting it, too. Like right now.

Daring to step out of her comfort zone, Jessilynn stood in front of him and looked up into his face. He stiffened when she placed her hand on the scruff of his cheek.

"You don't have to hide yourself from me, Philip. I accept you as you are, right here and now," she said. "I know you have demons from your past that haunt you. Don't let them keep you from living in this moment, on this day. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow."

Philip sighed and placed his hand on top of hers.

"You are special kind of lady, Jessilynn. You deserve someone who isn't me. And yet all I can think about is how you were put in my life for a reason, guiding me through this darkness, making me a better man," he said.

"I shouldn't want you like I do," he added.

Jessilynn blushed.

"Then that makes two of us," she replied.

Their reverie was broken when they heard a shelf crash behind them.

* * *

><p>They drove home in her father's truck as dusk was falling, sharing looks like teenagers who just discovered the opposite sex.<p>

In the end, Jessilynn had stuffed the overalls in her bag along with assorted other articles of clothing for both her and Philip.

After unloading their stash and eating some deer jerky, Jessilynn shyly glanced at Philip as he sprawled out on the couch for the night. Biting her lip, she finally mustered up the courage to speak.

"Why don't you spend tonight with me in the bed?" she asked, nearly stumbling over her words. "I mean, it is getting colder outside. And body warmth is better than blankets, right?"

Philip felt parts of his body jump at the thought. He knew if he agreed to climb into bed with her, there would be no going back for him.

"Darlin', I'd like nothing better than to spend the night with you," he said, "but I once I'm in it, I won't want to leave it. Are you sure that's what you want?"

Jessilynn's expression, which had initially been crestfallen, as she feared rejection, brightened and she nodded.

"I'm positive," she said, extending her hand to him.

* * *

><p>Over dinner 12 weeks later, Jessilynn fidgeted with her napkin before finally looking Philip straight in the eye.<p>

"I'm pregnant," she announced.

Philip set his fork down and leaned back, staring at the ceiling for a moment as if seeking answers while taking a deep breath.

In all honesty, the news hit him in the gut. He hadn't ever expected to be a father again. That God would bless him in this way — giving him a second chance no less — he felt overwhelmed.

Jessilynn had no idea what Philip's reaction would be and was stunned when he came out of his chair and fell to his knees in front of her, burying his face in her abdomen. His tears seeped into her shirt.


	3. Second Chances

As Jessilynn entered her third trimester, Philip flummoxed her by commenting he wanted them to temporarily leave their home and find a settlement so she could have doctor's care.

She scoffed at the idea, saying women had babies all the time without physicians' aid.

"What if something went wrong during delivery?" Philip argued. "I don't want to lose you or the baby!"

Jessilynn rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm as healthy as a horse," she countered. "And I don't some stranger tending to me. I have no doubt that you can do this. Besides, we have God on our side, remember?"

Philip gave in with the stipulation that she at least had to take it easy the next few weeks. As stubborn at Jessilynn was, she agreed to an extent to not overdo it for the rest of her pregnancy.

* * *

><p>Carter Lee Blake arrived without any complications. He arrived squalling in the middle of the night with minimal labor to both his parents' relief.<p>

Philip sat their bedside watching in awe as Jessilynn nursed their son. He still couldn't believe he had been gifted with a new life.

He insisted Jessilynn stay at home when he made runs for supplies or hunted for food, but after three months, she had developed cabin fever and demanded he take them on a leisurely drive so she could see scenery other than outside their cabin.

With Carter bundled in a body wrap, their little family set out on the road one morning.

Philip took them up and down a few country lanes before emerging onto the main highway. They stopped at an abandoned gas station to eat a picnic lunch of dried rabbit and canned mixed fruit and feed Carter before turning around to go home.

Nearly halfway home, Philip noticed they were low on fuel.

"We either need to find a place to wait out the night and hike back home or attempt to locate a car we can siphon from," he told her.

Jessilynn rubbed her hand over her son who was hidden in the wrap, curled against her chest, and glanced at their surroundings. The sun was still high in the sky.

"I'd rather take our chances finding fuel," she said. They slowly drove through a small town's main street when they spotted a green Hyundai.

Philip pulled out the gas can from the truck bed and a hose while Jessilynn walked around and rocked Carter. Philip had barely stuck the hose in the gas tank of the car before a gravelly voice spoke from behind him.

"Slowly set down that can and step away from the car or yer gonna get an arrow in the ass," the voice warned. Philip set the gas can down before lifting his hands above his head in surrender and turning around.

Daryl stifled a gasp and quickly leveled his crossbow, setting his sights between Philip's eyes as Michonne unsheathed her katana and wielded it, ready to strike. Jessilynn rushed toward Philip.

"Please don't kill my husband! We just needed some gas to get home!" she shouted, startling her sleeping son, who began to whimper.

Philip threw out his hand to stop her in her tracks.

He knew the day of reckoning had come. Oddly, he felt no anger and was ready to accept his fate.

"Daryl, Michonne," he said, acknowledging them both with a nod. "I know that I must pay for my crimes against you and your group."

He glanced at his wife and gave her a sad smile before facing the two in front of him.

"Please grant me my dying wish by taking in and caring for my wife and son," he said.

Jessilynn stared at Philip in horror as he dropped to his knees and dipped his head.

"No!" she screamed as Carter began to wail in earnest at his mother's cry.

Michonne and Daryl exchanged a shocked look.

Could they kill the Governor while an innocent woman and child who claimed to be his watched? And was the Governor even still the evil man they had battled nearly two years ago?

**_A/N: Thoughts?_ **


	4. Sins of the Father

For the first time since the apocalypse happened, Jessilynn questioned her faith.

How could God bring Philip into her life only to take him away? And why grant them a child only to leave him fatherless?

Tears streamed down her face as she watched the black warrior woman and the rugged archer keep their weapons trained on Philip's bowed head while they quietly talked between themselves, sparing glances in her direction.

"Please, spare him! My son needs his father!" Jessilynn pleaded as she hurriedly unwrapped Carter to display him with hopes of imploring them to let Philip go.

Carter continued to bawl until his mother freed him and raised him to her shoulder, trying to soothe him by patting his back.

* * *

><p>Daryl and Michonne were torn between avenging their group's suffering and heeding a mother's appeal.<p>

They hardly recognized the man before them, kneeling in a submissive posture. The Governor seemed like a changed man, but they had been fooled before and were leery as to whether this might be another his ploys.

The woman genuinely seemed to have a bond with the Governor, and if she were to be believed, it was the Governor's son in her arms. Daryl mentally did the math and calculated that the baby could indeed be the Governor's.

So did they let the man go on the woman's word? Could they trust he wouldn't return in another show of force?

They had repeatedly looked for him after he attacked the prison but never found him. He apparently had chosen to settle down and live quietly with this woman.

* * *

><p>Philip waited for Michonne's blade to strike or Daryl's arrow to pierce but neither came. He could hear Jessilynn weeping and Carter wailing.<p>

Was he being truly absolved for all the atrocities he'd done? Could he actually be redeemed?

* * *

><p>"Why should we spare 'em? He held hostage and tortured our friends, murdered my brotha and others then attacked our compound in an attempt to kill the rest of us includin' women and children," Daryl told the white blonde as she situated the baby against her shoulder.<p>

"He deceived us all. When I tried to leave, he wouldn't let me. We fought and I'm the one who gouged his eye," Michonne added.

Jessilynn's lip trembled as she glanced at Philip. He had repeatedly tried to confess his offenses to her and she had refused to hear them, unwilling to let his past taint their present.

"Philip? Is what they say true?" she beseechingly asked, even though she knew the answer.

"They tell you the truth, darlin'," he admitted, lifting his head to look at her and Carter. "Before I found you, I lived a wicked, wretched life. I coveted power, controlling what I could and destroying what I couldn't. When I met you, I realized I had forgotten what it was like to love and be loved."

Philip shifted his gaze to Michonne and Daryl.

"I can't undo what has been done. I know there is no way you can forgive me. I know I have no right to ask for a pardon. I know I deserve to die for what I've done," he said. "But I will ask you again to shelter and protect my wife and son. Please don't make them pay for my sins."

Daryl dropped his crossbow to his side and Michonne lowered her katana. Neither of them could stomach the idea of slaying an obviously reformed man.

"I can't promise our group won't kill ya on the spot if they cross paths with ya in the future," Daryl told him as he motioned for the Governor to stand. "We're not even gonna tell 'em we found ya."

Michonne sheathed her sword before popping open the car's trunk and retrieving a gas can that was half full. She handed it to the Governor, her eyes narrowed, as he gratefully accepted it.

"We're only doing this because of the child," she heatedly said. "Don't make me regret not beheading you when I had the chance."

Jessilynn walked to Daryl as he opened up the car door and tossed his crossbow in.

"Thank you," she managed to whisper. He glanced at her and shook his head.

"Like Michonne said, we're only doin' this for yer son. We won't be so nice the next time," he replied. Jessilynn nodded as she hurried to the truck.

Philip poured the gasoline into the tank and then returned the gas can back to Daryl.

"Thank you," he said, pausing. "I know you probably don't believe me, but I'm sincerely sorry … for everything. Your brother was a good man and I betrayed him."

Daryl said nothing and only glared at him.

Michonne watched as the Governor got into the truck cab and drove away.

"I hope we did the right thing by letting him go," she said.

"You and me both," Daryl replied as the truck disappeared over the horizon.


End file.
